I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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