I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So many bounce houses so little time
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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