Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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