if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
