I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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