super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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