Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
