i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
