I can't watch pbs sober anymore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
