is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
