White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
