i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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