Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
