you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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