Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
