I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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