Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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