I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
