lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
