Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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