so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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