I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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