yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
