Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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