Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
