Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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