I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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