she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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