He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
