I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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