u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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