well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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