What did we do last night that was yellow?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
