$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
