Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
