So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
