is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
