ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
