Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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