Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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