the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize