WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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