You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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