your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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