you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
