What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
