Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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