I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize