What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
