K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
