He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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