Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize