Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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