you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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