Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
