he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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