Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
