I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
