for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
