when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
