Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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