I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
