Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
